Our Version of Normal

My father is dying.  On August 7th, he was admitted into the hospital and after much testing (some tortuous), he was finally diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last week.  They've told us it is a very aggressive form of cancer and there is nothing we can do at this stage to stop it. We were shattered and heartbroken with the news.  Even though my dad has had his fair share of health issues over the last 4 or 5 years, we always thought it would be his heart that failed him.  Never did we even really think about cancer.  On top of cancer, his kidneys have also shut down and he had to start dialysis soon after entering the hospital just to live while the doctors were figuring out what was wrong with him. Yesterday marked his third week in the hospital.  I've been going early in the morning and visiting him daily.  I go back in the evenings as well.  During the first 2 weeks, I was usually the only one there in the early hours and I treasured ev...

Hyperlexia basically means the precocious ability to read or spell words without having any prior learning or training of the written word.  It occurs well before the age of 5.  The experts say that a child with hyperlexia usually has a below normal ability to understand spoken language even though their reading level is off the charts.  They often have a very low comprehension of what they are reading as well.  There is also some argument about whether or not Hyperlexia is it's own diagnosis separate from autism or if it is a subset of autism. Reagan and now Leo have shown this ability by the time they were 2 years old, but neither necessarily meet the criteria perfectly to be diagnosed.  I guess you could say they have hyperlexic tendencies.  We know that Reagan was able to read very early on due to his obsessions with reading magazines, but it was hard to gauge what his abilities/comprehension were until he became verbal at 3 1/2-4 years of age. ...

It can be a lonely world when you have multiple children with special needs especially when you add a bit of shyness into the mix (okay, a lot of shyness).  A few years back, I started to realize the majority of my daily social interactions were with my kid's teachers, therapists or doctors.  A busy schedule of therapies, developmental schools and doctor appointments make up our weekdays, while on weekends we may have a few activities, but for the most part we often stay home.  Waiting rooms can be a social outlet for me to meet people, but rarely do any long term friendships arise and usually I run (blissfully kid free) errands while the kid(s) are in therapy or school because taking my kids shopping gives me hives.  I'm kinda kidding. By the time I get home at the end of my day, I'm ready to  collapse  stay at home. Another unusual factor is my husband, Matt, is home most days (since he's a musician he usually performs at night) and that contr...

picture credit Last night, I went to the Mexican Restaurant where Matt (my hubby for anyone new here) performs every Friday.  I often take Riley and Reagan there to see Matt play live and to eat their addictive (calorie laden) food. Kaelan prefers to stay home and fills in as babysitter.  Well last night, I took Reagan and Leo because Leo had such a long late nap and wasn't ready to go to bed yet. It was nicely crowded and Matt even had the bar crowd dancing and doing an impromptu conga line.  :) On the way home, we were listening to Sirius-XM.  Reagan and I were battling it out as to which station we were going to listen to (he prefers rap or first wave 80's) and we landed on the 70's channel.  A Frankie Valli song ended and Tony Orlando's "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree" came on the radio. Reagan quickly tried to change the channel, but I stopped him.  I told him how my dad and mom (Grumpa and Moogie to my kids) used to sing that...

I am Catholic. I was raised Catholic by my mom and she took us to church every Sunday. I also went to Sunday School for years (known as CCD back then, but now called Religious Ed or RE). My dad was supposedly raised Methodist, but as far as I know never went to a Methodist church, except for maybe weddings and funerals. He grudgingly attended Catholic events like baptisms, first communions, weddings and funerals, but preferred to stay as far away from church as possible. Every Sunday, my mom would drag us out of bed, make sure we were dressed and fed before racing (literally) to church. We were usually late and of course everyone noticed. It's kinda hard to be inconspicuous with at first four and then eventually six kids entering a quiet church. I rebelled a bit in high school and refused to go to church even with all the Catholic and mom guilt laid on me. I just didn't care.   My first year at IU (Indiana University), I felt an urge to go back to church and my dorm just ha...

I'm been asked over and over what signs Reagan (15), Kaelan (15) & Leo (2 1/2) showed as toddlers that led to their diagnosis of autism.  Since early intervention has been proven to be one of the biggest advantages for children with autism, I wanted to share early signs we experienced with our boys to possibly help facilitate others to seek help sooner than later.   For us, it wasn't until all 3 were a year or older when the signs became apparent. Their first year, aside from the premature birth of Reagan & Kaelan was pretty typical. They smiled, made eye contact and met cognitive and physical milestones for the most part on time.  When Reagan & Kaelan were around 16 months old, I thought something was going on because they were so different from Riley at that age. I attributed the differences due to them being born 5 weeks early. I also thought maybe we'd neglected to entertain them as much as we had Riley with silly songs, patty cakes, peek-a-boos, read...

Do you ever get the feeling like you have a giant booger on your face or maybe forgot to put pants on before leaving the house? I do. I catch people staring or even gawking at us every. single. day. I'm not talking about short little covert glances, but big wide eyed "OMG, would you look at that family!" stares. There are days that I feel like we are the accident in the road and everyone is rubbernecking to get a peek at the gore. Sometimes, it's for the sheer size of our family (which by Dugger's standards, we are kinda small). Other times, it's the "Down's" element. Many times, it's because one or more of the boys are doing something obnoxious, fighting with each other or being disrespectful to us (have you ever tried to rationalize with a teenager on the spectrum?). And wait, we can't forget Leo's pepperoni sized birthmark on his head because it definitely gets it's fair share of horrified looks. Some think I'm...