When I was a little girl, I was never far from my mom’s side. I was the epitome of a Mama’s girl particularly with being an extremely shy and introverted child. For those that know her, my mom didn’t have a shy or introverted bone in her body.
New experiences or changes in my life always brought me great anxiety. My mom had a way about her though, that made those anxiety provoking moments seem less terrifying. She’d make them appear less daunting by giving me options that I could wrap my head around. She’d say “try it once”, “give it a week” or even said once, “go one year and then we’ll talk again” (this was when I wasn’t sure I wanted to go off to college). I remember her taking my complete stranger of a roommate, when I was a freshman at Purdue, to lunch and shopping for matching bedding to help ease my roommate and I into a very new and strange living situation. She was my rock growing up.
Becoming a mom myself in 1994, I actually went and lived with my parents for a week right after giving birth to my oldest, Riley, because I needed my mom’s calming wisdom to ease me into motherhood. Two years later, the twins were born prematurely and my mom once again was at my side in the NICU or taking care of Riley at her house for those 2 1/2 weeks. Those early years as a mom, I was a frequent visitor with my 3 boys at my parent’s house and my boys adored their Moogie.
She was the first to accept the twin’s autism diagnosis with unconditional love and support. She was also there when we received Lily’s Down syndrome diagnosis at her birth and soon after the news Lily would need open heart surgery within months of her birth. She dropped everything when I needed her most. That was the kind of person she was, always loving, always supporting and incredibly generous with everything.
She gave the best advice and I can’t even count the times I asked for her wisdom on being a mom, wife and friend they’re so numerous. She even loved having a birthday “twin” upon our adoption of Dasha into our family.
We had a shared love for Alan Jackson and enjoyed a few concerts of his together. She had his CD running on repeat in her bedroom because it helped her sleep in the end. His song "Livin on Love" was one of her favorite songs and depicts her life. She introduced me to Broadway Musicals as a little girl and we went to many over the years. “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoats” will always remind me of her.
My mom was a great cook and I think that is one of the things I miss most and made me the saddest when Alzheimer’s stole her ability to whip something up in the kitchen.
When my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I think my greatest fear was that she would forget me. She never did and I will forever miss hearing her say “Hey Elizabeth…”
I’m grateful to my brother, Danny, for moving my mom from a memory care facility to live with him and his family and also asking me to move here as well. I got to spend so much time with her and have zero regrets. I tried to show her the unconditional love she’d showed me my entire life caring for her in her time of greatest need. It was an honor and privilege. We had an incredible team of caregivers that are considered family now.
Two things I’ll never forget is her beautiful smile and her soft hands those final days. Another sweet memory for me to treasure is when she woke briefly the day before she passed and said to me, “Hey Cutie Patootie” with a gentle smile.
I had the best mom and I love knowing I have a new guardian angel up in Heaven to watch over me and my family. Love you Mom. Until we meet again. Please give Dad a huge hug from me.
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