"Share with God whatever is on your heart"
My mom forwarded me her priest's reflection of today's reading. It really spoke to me because over the years we have had a lot of "why us" and "what have we done to deserve this". After having our twins diagnosed with Autism when they were 2 & 3 years old, we were devastated. We were thrown into a life of multiple therapies, Early Childhood programs and emotional chaos. We were angry and wanted to know why. Then almost 7 years later, we had Lily. I was so grief-stricken and angry right after her birth. Matt was numb. I wanted someone to explain to me why this kept happening to us. Why couldn't we have a child without special needs.
I resented well meaning people when they would tell me that I must be a very special person and how He doesn't give us more than we can handle. I was very bitter even in the midst of falling in love with my beautiful daughter and Down syndrome. I quit going to church, I quit praying (didn't seem to matter) and I quit trying to be optimistic. It was a rough time in my life.
As the days passed, I started recognizing the special soul we had been given. She was the balm to our open wounds. She was the rainbow in our storm.
We still have stress, uncertainty, fear & yes, frustration, but as I rebuild my relationship with God, I have found that I have more joy, peace, and awe for our children and the unique qualities they have brought to our family. They are all a gift from God even if they come wrapped a little more ornate.
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Suffering can be found in any family: a mother who dies of cancer too early; a son who has fought drug addiction for years; a prolonged illness that results in constant pain and debilitation; the death of a child. As a priest I am frequently in the situation of counseling people who are experiencing these tragedies. Often times there are questions of “why” and the dual emotions of helplessness and anger.
When we speak of prayer in these life situations, it is not easy. Frequently there can be anger at God: “How could you do this to us?” This anger can serve much like a dam, causing other emotions and needs to be unattended, leaving the person with a dull emptiness in their heart. My advice is: “share with God whatever is on your heart. If you are angry then let God hear how you are struggling with your anger. If you feel that God has abandoned you, then talked to God about this. Just keep talking to him.”
“If we have died with him, we shall also live with him; if we persevere we shall also reign with him. But if we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.” This quote from the Second Timothy reading for today has the troubling phrase, “If we deny him he will deny us.” I have often wondered how Christ could deny us; refusing to know us. Is not his love unconditional and ever faithful?
At the heart of our faith is our relationship with Jesus Christ. It is meant to be a real relationship, with give and take, with sharing and listening, with questions and answers. Every relationship will experience difficult times, but it is important that the relationship stay alive and open. To deny Christ is to walk away, cutting ourselves off from the source of healing and life. When we deny Christ, we quit talking and listening, and slowly our hearts become overcome with cynicism and bitterness.
Christ desperately wants to break through our bitterness, looking for a crack in our armor of denial. He wants to reawaken our sleeping hearts, and even if we are unfaithful at times to Him, he will remain faithful to us.
Be honest with Christ in your prayer. Just keep the door of the relationship open.
Fr. Paul Koetter
Pastor
When we speak of prayer in these life situations, it is not easy. Frequently there can be anger at God: “How could you do this to us?” This anger can serve much like a dam, causing other emotions and needs to be unattended, leaving the person with a dull emptiness in their heart. My advice is: “share with God whatever is on your heart. If you are angry then let God hear how you are struggling with your anger. If you feel that God has abandoned you, then talked to God about this. Just keep talking to him.”
“If we have died with him, we shall also live with him; if we persevere we shall also reign with him. But if we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.” This quote from the Second Timothy reading for today has the troubling phrase, “If we deny him he will deny us.” I have often wondered how Christ could deny us; refusing to know us. Is not his love unconditional and ever faithful?
At the heart of our faith is our relationship with Jesus Christ. It is meant to be a real relationship, with give and take, with sharing and listening, with questions and answers. Every relationship will experience difficult times, but it is important that the relationship stay alive and open. To deny Christ is to walk away, cutting ourselves off from the source of healing and life. When we deny Christ, we quit talking and listening, and slowly our hearts become overcome with cynicism and bitterness.
Christ desperately wants to break through our bitterness, looking for a crack in our armor of denial. He wants to reawaken our sleeping hearts, and even if we are unfaithful at times to Him, he will remain faithful to us.
Be honest with Christ in your prayer. Just keep the door of the relationship open.
Fr. Paul Koetter
Pastor
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Mandy