Why All The Hate Autism Community?
I really really REALLY enjoy reading blogs and Facebook pages where autism is the common thread. The people that write or read these blogs/pages usually have someone in their lives affected by autism. I can commiserate with others struggling with similar behaviors and delays or celebrate with them as I read about their child meeting a milestone or goal. It can be immensely reassuring to read about someone else who has a child that shares some of the same issues, quirks or talents as my child. Personally, I believe it makes one feel less alone while stuck deep in the autism trenches. I also LOVE the blogs that use sarcasm, snark and humor to help ease the seriousness of what we are dealing with regarding our children with autism.
BUT, I've come to realize that some of these same people I feel an instant camaraderie with can become vehemently vicious when someone makes a comment or writes a post that contradicts their opinion for treatments or even how to parent a child with autism. All of a sudden, everyone is an expert. For instance, vaccinations are a hot explosive topic amongst the autism community. There are some for and some against vaccinating their child(ren) who have autism. Some believe without a shadow of doubt their child has autism because they received a vaccination while others think the aforementioned parents are crazy. You can hardly admit to liking or hating Jenny McCarthy, Dr. Andrew Wakefield or even Autism Speaks without setting someone off to berate you who feels the opposite. Other big trends that get people all riled up are whether or not autism can be cured, using the words high functioning/low functioning, autism schools, communication devices, ABA therapy, special diets (no gluten, no casein, no dyes, etc.), nutritional supplements & alternative therapies like chelation therapy. While some parents are taking out 2nd mortgages for some of these treatments, others are thinking those same parents are either nuts, going overboard or even abusing their child. The one area of treatments for helping someone on the autism spectrum everyone seems to agree on is the need for intensive speech, occupational, physical and developmental therapies.
I get it, we all want what's best for our kids. Of course everyone's perception of what's best obviously can differ from parent to parent. Whether we want them to gain speech, feel better physically, lower their anxiety level, reduce the spinning and flapping, gain social skills and life skills or obtain the ability to cope in this very chaotic world, I believe we truly just want them to be happy and to reach their fullest potential.
What I don't get is all the hate, the anger and the condemnation. Why do some people attack other parents for their choices and beliefs regarding their own child affected by autism? Aren't we all on the same team? Do we really all have to agree and be on the same page? It is so upsetting and quite sad to see parents bash one other just because so and so refuses to vaccinate or so and so does vaccinate. Last time I checked no one has discovered the true cause(s) or the reason(s) we have such a high rate of autism going on right now. Scientists, doctors and other professionals are all trying to pinpoint causation (we are still waiting for the results of the genetic testing we had done 4 months ago) and hopefully some day very soon we will have answers, but for now why can't we all just focus on advocating for, helping and loving our OWN child. Sure, share what's working well and what's not working. Share whether your child is vaccinated or not, following a special diet, doing alternative treatments, going to ABA schools, homeschooled or maybe how you're just doing traditional therapy and sending them to the public schools. Write about what seems to work for your child versus what doesn't because it may help someone else make decisions especially those new to the game. While our extra unique kiddos on the spectrum often view things in black and white, I don't think it's productive nor kind to think that way as parents or caregivers. Of course there are always extremists on both ends, but I have to believe we all share a common bond and should be building each other up instead of ripping someone a new one for their choices or way of thinking.
We want our kids to be accepted by society for who they are and treated with respect. How in the world can that ever happen if we ourselves are unable to give each other respect? We need to quit working against each other and be more supportive and understanding as a whole without getting caught up on individual choices. Do what you feel is right for YOUR child and your child alone and please try to keep the peace in our ever growing autism community. I think we have enough hardships, stress and angst on our plate as it is, don't you?
BUT, I've come to realize that some of these same people I feel an instant camaraderie with can become vehemently vicious when someone makes a comment or writes a post that contradicts their opinion for treatments or even how to parent a child with autism. All of a sudden, everyone is an expert. For instance, vaccinations are a hot explosive topic amongst the autism community. There are some for and some against vaccinating their child(ren) who have autism. Some believe without a shadow of doubt their child has autism because they received a vaccination while others think the aforementioned parents are crazy. You can hardly admit to liking or hating Jenny McCarthy, Dr. Andrew Wakefield or even Autism Speaks without setting someone off to berate you who feels the opposite. Other big trends that get people all riled up are whether or not autism can be cured, using the words high functioning/low functioning, autism schools, communication devices, ABA therapy, special diets (no gluten, no casein, no dyes, etc.), nutritional supplements & alternative therapies like chelation therapy. While some parents are taking out 2nd mortgages for some of these treatments, others are thinking those same parents are either nuts, going overboard or even abusing their child. The one area of treatments for helping someone on the autism spectrum everyone seems to agree on is the need for intensive speech, occupational, physical and developmental therapies.
I get it, we all want what's best for our kids. Of course everyone's perception of what's best obviously can differ from parent to parent. Whether we want them to gain speech, feel better physically, lower their anxiety level, reduce the spinning and flapping, gain social skills and life skills or obtain the ability to cope in this very chaotic world, I believe we truly just want them to be happy and to reach their fullest potential.
What I don't get is all the hate, the anger and the condemnation. Why do some people attack other parents for their choices and beliefs regarding their own child affected by autism? Aren't we all on the same team? Do we really all have to agree and be on the same page? It is so upsetting and quite sad to see parents bash one other just because so and so refuses to vaccinate or so and so does vaccinate. Last time I checked no one has discovered the true cause(s) or the reason(s) we have such a high rate of autism going on right now. Scientists, doctors and other professionals are all trying to pinpoint causation (we are still waiting for the results of the genetic testing we had done 4 months ago) and hopefully some day very soon we will have answers, but for now why can't we all just focus on advocating for, helping and loving our OWN child. Sure, share what's working well and what's not working. Share whether your child is vaccinated or not, following a special diet, doing alternative treatments, going to ABA schools, homeschooled or maybe how you're just doing traditional therapy and sending them to the public schools. Write about what seems to work for your child versus what doesn't because it may help someone else make decisions especially those new to the game. While our extra unique kiddos on the spectrum often view things in black and white, I don't think it's productive nor kind to think that way as parents or caregivers. Of course there are always extremists on both ends, but I have to believe we all share a common bond and should be building each other up instead of ripping someone a new one for their choices or way of thinking.
We want our kids to be accepted by society for who they are and treated with respect. How in the world can that ever happen if we ourselves are unable to give each other respect? We need to quit working against each other and be more supportive and understanding as a whole without getting caught up on individual choices. Do what you feel is right for YOUR child and your child alone and please try to keep the peace in our ever growing autism community. I think we have enough hardships, stress and angst on our plate as it is, don't you?
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